Thursday, February 11

bittersweet

so here it is..
yes, i am in calgary as i type this entry and im here for a pseudo-vacation. this is not the best travelling outfit, but i had to wear my heaviest pieces of clothing so that it won't add to my carry-on weight.
outfit: sirens coat, stitches body suit, AE jeans, le chateau boots, AA scarf

it's a long story but to make it brief, basically the bf is going to try to establish his career here and would be moving if he becomes successful. i am, on the other hand, just here for a week since i have some duties to return to (in winnipeg) towards the end of the month. plus, i wasn't totally ready for this vacation (not in my budget nor was it in my schedule). i just knew i had to come with him since it might be awhile before i see him again.the ironic thing is im actually staying with my cousin here, while he's staying at his uncle's place and we're both at odd ends of the city. so as to meeting up and actually spending decent time together, i dont know yet how that will happen.

it's been bittersweet really.. hence the oh-so-dramatic entries i've been having. i want to be the most supportive girlfriend and say that i want him to succeed. if that would take for him to settle here, then im all for it because i seriously believe in him. i know given the right opportunity and environment, he's going to be someone great.
but of course, as much as i want to feel that, there's still that hint of sadness due to the uncertainty of where and how will our relationship continue. i don't want to doubt what we have because i know and feel that it's right, but there's always that underlying thought of whether we really are for each other at the end. i know im being paranoid (even he tells that to me), but i can't help it since this set-up is not all new to me -- been there, done that type of thing.

anyway, i really want to focus on the good side of this whole trip. at least, im here and actually can claim that im having a vacation. the weather is pretty awesome here and i can't wait to see the sites, the malls, the food and generally the city itself. i guess i'll just have to make the most out of it.

13 comments:

  1. I feel your pain.. kind of... :( I don't really know what to say, but all I do know is that I AM HERE. I will always be, although I'm not really posting much, but I will always be here for you no matter what. YOU CAN COUNT ME IN ON THAT ONE. I will be held accountable for any promises I don't make, but I will <3 xo

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  2. I hope everything works out for you both. Its hard doing long-distance, I know I've been there too. But its good that you've supported him and have taken the time to go out there with him for now. I hope you enjoy the vacation and get to see him a lot.

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  3. thx 4 stopping by at my blog..
    love ur style as well ;)!!

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  4. aww sybil, this entry breaks my heart :( many people suffer through long distance relationships, but i'll be an optimist in this case and i'll say that your relationship will get better and stronger :) it's true. i think what you have with your bf is real and you guys are going to work on this together :) be strong! you know you can email anytime ;) try to enjoy your mini vacation :D

    www.monochromachic.cocm

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  5. i'm sorry to hear about the possibility of a long-distance relationship. try not to worry your self over this too much though and just have a little bit of faith. it'll be tough but i'm sure you'll get through it. things happen in life and, for the most part, for a reason. enjoy yourself now while you're on this mini-vacation and go exploring!

    p.s. i love the outfit, it's your first look from your previous post in real life! :)

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  6. love that infinity scarf on you--beautiful!
    good luck with LDR--i was in one for a long time and in some ways it is great and exciting and you are always thrilled to see each other, and in other ways it can be super hard!

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  7. aww sybil! i totally understand! since i'm graduating this year (a year early) and robert has another year at the university we're going to now, it's so uncertain and i hate it. but he and i have already talked about it and if we ever end up being separated physically, we'll try to make it to the best of our abilities. and if it doesn't work, then i guess we tried and we had an amazing x-amount of years together. so just try to make the most of your vacation and your time together! everything will be alright dear<3 who knows? maybe you'll end up in calgary too!! :) the last photo looks so wonderful :)

    have lots and lots of fun<3

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  8. Uggh, long distance relationship stuff (or even the prospect of one) is so hard. Stay strong!

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  9. Well, what can I say. Hahaha. (tumawa pa eh no?) it's sad, but it's good for several reasons. I'm just a phone call away and you know that. :)

    - Arianne

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  10. Aww I hope everything works out! What fun, it's snowing in Calgary! The one time I went to Calgary, it was wintertime and it wasn't even snowing :(

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  11. thanks so much for your comments! really appreciate them...

    regarding your post, living long distance is pretty difficult (i did it las year... and managed) - i was studying abroad in the uk and he was still in california. so, it was quite a distance, but it totally worked out!

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  12. :( long distance is hard...i will be going through that very soon too. stay strong and if the love is there, it will conquer long distances!!! :) i'm a strong believer in 'everything happens for a reason,' so, maybe you can think of this as an opportunity for you and your boyfriend to grow in your relationship and love for each other during this challenging time. i feel for you!!!! <3~~

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